#SIMON DOMINIC SISTER IN LAW HOW TO#
I don’t want to create a disconnect between my husband and kids and his family, but I truly don’t know how to build a relationship, even a superficial one, with her. I’m usually fine at maintaining a conversation with people with a wide range of interests and personalities, but with her, I just find doing so impossible. Also, he tends to gravitate toward his brother (her husband), which is very understandable, but the result is that I am left with her. He also finds her a bit hard to swallow, but is much better than I am at laughing her off, or finding a way to respond to her that isn’t hurtful. I feel so uncomfortable that I try to avoid being with her altogether, but that isn’t easy to do in intimate family gatherings.Īll of this has really put my husband in an uncomfortable situation. I never know what to say to her-whenever she comes out with an absolute question or statement, I find myself either dropping my jaw, saying something that sounds condescending, or both. I used to try to make special foods when she came over, but I always ended up doing something wrong and she wouldn't eat them, so I gave up. She is also extremely health-conscious and has a list of things she doesn’t eat because “they’re not healthy.” It’s always absolutes, even about subjects for which there is no scientific consensus. For example, she’s always asking whether things are “good or bad,” even when we’re discussing a topic like an interpersonal relationship, which doesn’t usually fit into such binary categorization. She’s quite accomplished in her academic discipline, but has zero emotional intelligence, which is the main characteristic I appreciate in people. She sees the world in black and white, while I see infinite shades of gray. Everything about her rubs me the wrong way.
She is an honest, trustworthy person and has never done anything to hurt me or anyone else in the family.
I value raising my children in a warm extended-family environment, but I am finding it harder and harder to be with my sister-in-law. My husband’s family is extremely close-knit, and my immediate family spends lots of time with them. Have a question? Email her at want to miss a single column? Sign up to get "Dear Therapist" in your inbox. Editor’s Note: On the last Monday of each month, Lori Gottlieb answers a reader's question about a problem, big or small.
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